2019

Merry Christmas!

Isn’t it nice to get something in the mail that isn’t a bill? I hope everyone had a great holiday. By now you are all rested up and ready for another jolt of excitement, the Willis Christmas letter. Here we go.

January

We actually did something in January this year. We went axe throwing. And we didn’t just wander aimlessly through the neighborhood chucking hatchets willy-nilly, we went to a real axe throwing establishment. Complete with a liquor license, which makes sooo much sense. And throw in a few Finley nephews to make it really fun. It was a great time and I would recommend it to anyone, with a caveat. Don’t invite that tennis buddy that always gets mad and throws his racquet after a tough loss.

Emily is a grownup now, so after 27 years of this letter, this is the last time I will ever let you know that she had a birthday on the 29th and I did not get her a pony. I promise. Unless for some reason I actually do buy her a pony, which would be Christmas letter worthy. But I won’t.

February

Another one of those months that is typically not too exciting. I see that Jane and I went to the symphony a couple of times and really enjoyed it. But not much else to say about it that would interest you. I guess I’ll just use this space to print a really pretty picture of Jane. And to point out that since the girls are all grown and mostly out of the house, this letter is pretty much just all about me and Jane. The girls will be our Chuck Cunningham, Richie’s older brother from Happy Days. Mentioned lovingly, but mostly out of the picture. And still getting residuals.

March

Much like her older sister, Sarabeth is a grownup. Though she had a birthday on the 18th, we will not celebrate it on these pages henceforth. That is why God invented Facebook. And though I never mentioned buying her a pony, it was just because I figured she could use Emily’s.

Emily and Jane went to Pie Class this month. It was a nice Christmas gift from Adam. They tell me they made pies and learned lifelong baking skills. They said they had a great time. Even have a photo with the chef to prove it. I don’t know much more about it. I do know I didn’t get a piece of pie that evening and I think wine was involved.

A few days later the family took a trip to Ohio. This was a Christmas present from Sarabeth. We spent Sunday at the Columbus Zoo. We had a great time at a neat zoo, but it was nothing compared to the next day. We drove an hour southeast to “The Wilds”, which is a 10,000-acre wildlife preserve run by the zoo. It is on reclaimed strip mine land and looks like the great savannahs of Africa. It’s late March and still a little nasty out. Wet and chilly. When we pulled into the parking lot, we doubled the number of cars there. When we stopped, the other vehicle pulled alongside and asked our name. This was our tour guide. We had all 10,000 acres to ourselves! And our guide wasn’t some retired guy making a few extra bucks. He was the keeper in charge of all the rhinos! He really knew his stuff. As we enter through the gate the first wildlife we encounter is a huge herd of deer. Just your basic side of the road deer. Except these were alive. They figured out that inside the fence, they were as protected as the zebra. We saw all sorts of animals, including a very fresh baby Sichuan Takin. That’s the guy Disney modeled the Beast from for the movie.  But I think our favorite part was feeding one of the rhinos and the giraffes. Neither animal makes much sense, but they were really cool. A lot of exotic animal spit that day. The hand sanitizer bottle was passed around like a hot potato.

And thank you Erik for leaving us the key to your house in Columbus. That was very thoughtful and quite a learning experience. I learned how to remove a Sharpie line drawn on the side of a bourbon bottle!

April

Did some culture this month. Emily and I went to the symphony. It’s fun to do the daddy/daughter stuff. She took a photo just so she could post on Facebook that she was at the Pops with her Pop. It doesn’t take much to amuse her. Sarabeth is living with us so our daddy/daughter stuff is typically loading the dishwasher together. Not as cultural, but an essential part of today’s society. We also visited the theatre this month. The Uricks and the Coopers joined us for a Broadway production of Spamalot. A lovely evening with fine friends that culturally ranks right up there with loading the dishwasher.  A slightly unsophisticated type of humor that is an essential part of today’s society.

May

As is typical, this is where things start hopping! May 2nd was my last day of work. I wasn’t fired, I retired! It just felt like the right time. I was looking forward to Friday and dreading Monday more than I ever have in my life. And a week later, Jane did the same. She wasn’t going to let me have all the fun by myself. My friends at Indy Imaging were great. Threw me a party at Top Golf. And the people at IU Health – West set up a beautiful reception for Jane. We are both going to love retirement but will miss the day to day interactions with our work friends. But not enough to go back to work. Now it is time to start having some fun! It is May in Indianapolis so our first adventure should include some fancy cars. So, we went to the Mecum auto auction at the fairgrounds with Alan & Jenny. We didn’t buy anything, but I found out that Jane knows nothing about cars but knows what she likes! Excellent taste! The next day I thought I would hang out at the track with all the other retired guys in town. So, I spent the day watching the cars with Scott and Mario. You know what Scott looks like, so I’ll just include this photo of Mario.

That weekend we headed to Cincinnati for some family time and a bit of baseball. My niece Megan was in town for a visit from whatever part of the world she was living in at the time. It is a rare occurrence that warrants a convergence of the family, kind of like a solar eclipse. We came, we saw Megan, we cooked out and we watched baseball. And took a sibling photo. Teresa-Nancy-Wayne-Marky-Bob. Cute kids!

And we finished the month off with the race. Always an exciting weekend, but even more so when a couple of great friends from North Carolina come to town. John and Nick came for the race. We spent a day at the lake telling stories. And after the race we met at St. Elmo for a serious shrimp cocktail, a great meal and more stories. My NC friends are always welcome to enjoy Indy in May with us! That is an invitation. Heck, you don’t even have to be from North Carolina. Just give me some warning.

June

Remember my friend Jerry? From half a page back? Went to see Spamalot with us? Anyway, Jerry calls and says, “Since you’re retired now and don’t have anything to do, would you and Jane like to go to Connecticut with Monica and me for a week of vacation?” There was really only one correct answer to that question. A week or so later we were in Westbrook, CT in a house on the beach overlooking the Long Island Sound. Monica grew up in that area, so she was our tour guide. We spent most of our time visiting quaint little villages that served excellent food! And then we ate the food. Cocktails in the evening as we discussed what we were going to eat the next day. One of the highlights was a trip across the sound on their friends boat to Greenport for lunch and a few drinks. Another was our trip to Newport, RI to the Tennis Hall of Fame. A very classy venue in the middle of a really cool city. We discovered all sorts of things on this trip, such as Red Hots, a broccoli pie (pizza) from Pepe’s, RI clam chowder, steamers, lobster rolls, how to attack a whole lobster, the weird way they slice hotdog buns. Did you notice that was all food? We had a wonderful trip and really appreciate Jerry and Monica inviting us to share a bit of their world with us. I guess it’s our turn to take them to Greensburg and Louisville this summer. Newport might have the Tennis HOF, but what’s on top of their courthouse?

July

Another fun month. Started the month off by playing in a golf outing in Cleveland. It was a work thing, I do it every year. BUT WAIT A MINUTE, I don’t work anymore? One of the salesmen that should be playing golf was on vacation that week so they asked if I would like to go. Are you kidding? I will volunteer for that duty on a regular basis. Had a great time. Indy Imaging is run by some cool people.

But what was best about the whole trip was when I got home at about midnight, I opened the door to a clean garage! Jane enlisted the help of Adam, my favorite son-in-law and the 2 of them performed a miracle. The fact that my clean garage made it into my Christmas letter is not an indictment of 2019, but a testament to how nasty my garage has been the last few years. And it is still clean. It’s amazing what a retired guy will do when it’s too wet to play golf or cut the grass.

In what has become an annual event, we meet the Beckers, Borders, and Coopers at the winery near Scott’s house for a concert. The music was fine, the wine was great, the food was excellent, and the weather was nasty hot. We lasted till intermission then headed to Scott’s pool with the rest of the cheese and grapes. BTW, that photo looks really clear on my computer screen, but probably not so great on this paper. But this is my only chance to add a photo of Phil & Tammie in this year’s letter. They are the 17 pixels near the upper right corner.

Next was a big weekend in Louisville. We had a wedding. My nephew Kyle married Jayne. That was pretty neat, but it got even better when a few of the California cousins came to help celebrate. I really enjoy being around those people. They are sweet and kind and beautiful and just fun to be around. My favorite moment was when it started to rain, and Flo and Hayley had to go out and stand in it. They just don’t get too many chances to do that out in L.A. And then we all squeezed together for a group photo. In Marky’s living room, not outside in the rain.

And since I am retired, I drove back down to Louisville to play golf with Dave Emery. Had a good time on the course and then later that evening we sat outside and talked and laughed with his family. I loved seeing Kim, Randi, Josh and especially Sadie. We really meant to get photos, but it never happened. So, this artistic interpretation will have to do. Sadie was sitting on my lap. Isn’t she cute? Love that little girl! Kim is looking good. Not every lady her age could wear that outfit. And of course, Dave never changes. Not sure why I was wearing sunglasses? Played in a golf outing the next day with my friend Jack. I played well and drove home happy.

August

This was a month of fun little adventures. No big excursions, just small pockets of fun surrounded by longer stretches of not going to work. And it was rough. Along with tennis and golf, we started our bowling season. It all started with a visit from Marky & Donn. Nothing special, just a nice easy relaxing visit. We went to the art museum, drank bourbon and smoked cigars. We did some other stuff too. I had a great time. I enjoy the company of a man that enjoys the stuff I enjoy.

A couple of days later Jane & I went to Columbus, IN and toured the Miller Estate. That is this fantastic Mid-Century Modern home that has been restored. It is now owned by the Indianapolis Museum of Art. Well worth the visit. The whole tour I kept thinking about how cool it is to do stuff like this on a Tuesday. Tuesday is now my new Saturday. And just as cool, Saturday is still my old Saturday! Retirement is good.

How cool is this? And I’m not making this up even though I could because there is this thing called artistic license. The next Tuesday we had another big adventure! Janitor friends Bob & Sue stopped by the lake on their way from Bloomington to Monticello. We did most of the typical lake stuff except swim. It was a bit overcast that day. Well now it was time for the usual boat tour of Lake Hart. It looked like we were in for some rain, but we figured we had all sorts of time. For those of you that have visited the lake, you know it doesn’t take long to explore. Even in a trolling motor-powered pontoon boat you are talking about 15 minutes. Well the wind starts to pick up, so I turn to head back to the dock. As I turn the motor it comes off the back of the boat. It’s buzzing around about eye level as I hold on for dear life. I finally get it turned off and screwed back down to the boat. And speaking of screwed, we were. It’s attached to the boat, but it won’t turn on. And we have no paddles. Well actually, I own one, but it is on the dock. And the sky is getting angry. And the theme song from Gilligan’s Island is starting to echo around my head. Bob has a good idea. Stand up and hold the beach towels between us like a sail. Unfortunately, the wind did not want to take us where we wanted to go. Maybe if we knew anything about hoisting our jib or some other sailing terms, we could have made it work. But no one on the boat earned that merit badge. So, we did what any man would do. Bob and I jumped in the water and tried to pull the boat to the dock. We each grab the little ring at the front of each pontoon and start swimming. We are doing the side stroke, kicking our feet and using our free arm to paddle. And it is hard. And it hurts. And I am on my side and all I can do is look up and see the sky. And now the Gilligan song has morphed into the Wizard of Oz bicycling witch music. Nah nah nah nah nah na, nah nah nah nah nah na. I keep expecting to see cows and houses flying overhead. But then I see it! A tree branch! We are close to shore. Not only that, we are close to my dock. We made it! I was so happy we have a ladder at the end of our dock because there is no way either Bob or I had the strength to pull ourselves up. And once we had the boat tied up, we only had 60 stair steps between us and shelter. The storm came and it was a big one. And then the sun came out and all was good. We had dinner, they drove home and I slept well that night. Mostly because I was tired but partially because of the nice gift they brought us. The next morning, I checked the motor. Worked just fine. I also remembered that I had let the crazy neighbor borrow the pontoon the weekend before. I guess he must not have tightened the motor down as well as he should. Why does that neighbor end up in all of my Christmas letters? And why did Jane bother to take that photo? For the police report?

And Jane and I celebrated our 43rd anniversary on the 14th.

At the end of the month Adam & Emily took us to a concert up at Conner Prairie. It was a Beatles tribute band, so the music was fantastic. But I mostly mention it because it is a good excuse to print this photo.

September

Sarabeth bought a house! She had been searching for quite a while, then saw the right one and made an offer 2 hours later. She is officially an adult, because she now has a mortgage. Very nice place in Plainfield, which is close to her school. So now she has a house, a nice car, a dog, and a good job. What more could she ask for?

Next was our annual tennis friends at the lake party. You know what we did. The same thing we always do at the lake. We had fun and we documented the occasion with a group photo.

From that point on the month took a downturn. I went to a tennis lesson with an odd pain in my back/hip. Nothing unusual because I am an old guy that plays a lot of tennis. Sore is normal. Only made it through half the lesson. Went home and then straight to the doctor. Got some x-rays and some meds and an opinion on the problem. Hurt worse the next day so I went to the ER for an MRI. Only problem was I couldn’t position myself correctly for the procedure without nasty pain. Didn’t get the MRI but did get a different diagnosis. Different hospital the next day, same result. 3rd try the next day with the addition of a couple of hits of morphine. Successful MRI that showed nothing. Oxy and the other stuff wasn’t helping so the doctor gave me a double dose of a steroid pack and sent me to PT. While all this was going on Jane was having her own issues. The best we can figure is she hurt her bicep/elbow earlier in the summer falling out of the hammock. It still hurts and she can’t bowl, and she wants it fixed! She would leave me on the couch and go get her own MRIs and x-rays. The good news is that we that we set up all our PT with the same person. We went to see Jill twice a week. And we would come home and do our exercises with our stretchy little ropes together. Think I need to add Jill to the Christmas letter list now. She’s almost like family. Eventually I got better. I still don’t know for sure what was wrong with me because every professional I saw thought it was something different. Made it back to the tennis court after about 2 months. Jane is still fighting with the arm issue. I guess am officially retired. I own a cane!

October

Jane and I jumped into the car and drove down to Nashville, IN for their Artist Studio Tours. You pick up a map and drive all over the county going to visit the artists as they work. It was really interesting, and we met some neat people and saw some great art. Saw a bunch of crap too, but I guess that is to be expected. At one place, I thought the lady was going to ask us to stay for dinner. We saw her studio and every room in her house. And she had nice enough work that I purchased a piece. As we were ready to leave, Jane said something about the donkeys in the pasture across the street. The lady said we should stop and feed them before we left and went to the kitchen to get us a bag of carrots. Above and beyond the call of duty, but we graciously accepted the bag of veggies. We spent the next 20 minutes feeding the donkeys. Cute little guys! And did I mention they had goats? I first noticed them up by the barn when we parked. The next time I noticed them we had a goat hood ornament! The dudes were on our car, like they were the first to the top of Everest and were claiming the territory for Goatlandia! Jane thought it was funny as I pull one goat off the car and the other jumps up and takes his place. And I get them both off and try to get Jane in the car, but she has to take more photos of a rock or a branch or some fungus or something, and boom, they’re back up on the hood! I finally get Jane in the car, the goats on the ground and we head back out to civilization. It was fun, it was a Christmas letter moment. And it was Jane’s car.

The next weekend Marky & Donn visit. We went to the art museum to see the stuff we ran out of time for last visit. Donn & I drink some more bourbon and smoked a couple more cigars. Sunday Donn and I went to watch the Colts beat the Texans and Jane and Marky did something else. Not sure what. A couple of days later Bob & Jean came up for a day at the art museum. Hey, it’s a nice museum! That is a photo of Bob & I inside this weird, mirrored box full of what seemed like millions of polka-dot pumpkins. It was an interesting exhibit, but it didn’t change my life. I can’t speak for Bob though.

Alan had a special birthday coming up so Jenny thought it would be a good idea to combine their annual Halloween party with a surprise birthday party. Jenny suggested everyone dress up in 60s décor or something to do with Alan’s love of cars. As usual it was a great party with fun people and good music. Jane dressed up as a hippie. I went as roadkill.

On Halloween day Jane and I jumped on a plane and flew to Jacksonville, FL. It was time again for our janitor reunion and Jerry and Lisa were our hosts. There were just eight of us this year. I think Bob and Sue may have been worried I would try to drown them again. The guys played golf at a very nice course, though I am not sure why they are so proud of their water down there that they have to show it off on every hole. The ladies did some shopping. And that’s good, because Jane needed some stuff. And we went to a very nice restaurant one evening with great seafood. Those were our structured activities. The rest of the time we sat around and talked. Then we ate and then we talked some more. And drank a beer or two. Jerry, Doug and I sat around the pool and talked about Michael as he swam to nowhere for 45 minutes. When Michael was running, we watched football. Michael is the skinny one in the photo.

November

This was a busy month. The Willis family Christmas was going to be at our house this year and we had stuff we had to get finished. Since we lost all of September and most of October, we had to hurry. We spent the month stripping floors and painting walls and installing new carpet and just general cleaning. Wanted the house to look good for the family but mostly for ourselves. Did stuff that should have been done sooner but it was much easier now that we are retired, and all the kids and dogs are out of the house. Thanksgiving was good, but glad it’s over because…. we are going to St. John!

December

I love this place! It is the only place I have ever been where the beaches actually look like they do in the brochures. White sand, turquoise water and maybe a dozen people on the beach or in the water. Once again, we are traveling with Scott & Liz and Mark & Karen and that makes it even more fun. We would get up at a reasonable hour and wander down to the pool. Spent time at the pool cooling down and relaxing from the strenuous troll down the hill from the condo. We needed to conserve our energy because we knew that in a few hours we were going to have to take a golf cart back up that hill. Sometime after lunch we would do more pool or maybe a walk in the sand or a wade in the ocean. We did take a snorkeling excursion one day, which included a lot of rum and just the right amount of pizza, that was baked on a boat moored in one of the bays. And we rented a car and drove along the coast, stopping to snorkel at the best places along the way. Every evening we took a taxi into “town” for a great meal. We ate very well that week. And we have group photos from every meal to prove it. Not much else to talk about, just look at the photos!

We are back from St. John and it is almost time for Christmas. But first, another trip to the art museum. They set up a big Christmas light display and you can freeze your tail off as you walk through the grounds and say “OHHHH AHHHHH”. Not really my kind of thing, but Jane wanted to do it, so I said fine. Well once again, she was right, and I was wrong. It was amazing! Still not sure how they did it, but it was beautiful. And the cold made it even more fun. It made that warm drink even warmer and that cuddle by the fire even fierier.

Christmas was good. Always is. We had a nice simple Christmas with the family. Gifts and food. A nap on the couch and some more snacks. And we had to watch “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” for mom. And of course, Emily wanted to play games. And do shots of Fireball. Just like the Christmases of old.

The weekend came and the Willis’s followed. We had just about everyone except a few of the world travelers. Some needed to travel, and some needed to rest from their travels. And a couple of sick ones. But we had 20 so it was still a fine gathering of family. We did all that stuff we always do. Every year at this time I marvel at how lucky I am to have a family like this. We love each other and we even like each other, which is sometimes even harder. I know not everyone can say that. But I can. And for that I am blessed.

I hope everyone had a fantastic year and I hope this new one is starting off on the right track for you. I’ll be thinking of you all as I print out the envelopes for this thing. Thanks for being our friends.

Wayne & Jane

But wait, what about Jason & Alex? You didn’t mention them at all.

Don’t worry, they’re fine. We did some stuff together this year, but they spent most of their time getting married and having a baby. They were kind of busy. But we did get together the last day of the year. The five of us spent a relaxing day strolling through, you guessed it, the art museum.

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